SMILE...

If you chance to meet a frown...Do not let it stay...
Quickly turn it upside down...
And smile that frown away!
Kamdens 1st smiles





What cutie patuties - especially when they are all smiling! :)

p.s. (notice the time of this post...uuuggghhh! - not by choice mind you! ((feeding time)). Maybe that's why I chose this post idea - I need something to smile about right now. :) )

Goodbye...

When I hear the word "goodbye", it isn't usually a word that brings pleasant feelings. I usually associate it with having to leave someone or somewhere that I love. However, can't goodbye be a wonderful thing? For example, saying goodbye to winter is always a great thing! (That is probably because I know I will see winter again. If I knew I would never see a snowflake fall again, then it would probably be sad for me.) The only thing in life that is for sure, is change. There are very few things that we say goodbye to that is a permenant goodbye. When we say goodbye to a loved one who has passed away, even then...it is just for a time, not forever. I have had several occassions of farewells in the last couple of months that have been good and bad. The first one is the one which prompted me to write about this subject:

1. Last week school started again. Since the time Brayden was in first grade, he would walk the block and a half to the bus stop, walking backwards with his arms in the air waving "I love you" in sign language, as I stood on the porch waving back. Sometimes it would cause me great frustration, as I knew he needed to hurry to catch the bus. Some of those days, he would come walking back home because he had missed it. But without fail, every morning, he walked backwards waving goodbye and I love you. Then our bus stop moved across the street, and there was no more walking backwards the last couple of years. This year, with great anxiety for me, I sent my boy to middle school (where have the years gone?). With this new year, the bus stop is the block and a half away again. He no longer walked backwards, but to my pleasant surprise, he stopped every five feet, turned around, and waved the "I love you" sign all the way to the corner! My "little" boy (who's almost as tall as me), is trying to be a teenager, but hasn't quite said goodbye to childhood.

First day of school

2. My second goodbye was to pregnancy, (forever...I think). I have very mixed emotions about this one. This last time was a very difficult 9 months, not to mention the health problems that followed. In that regard, GOODBYE & GOOD RIDDANCE! I don't like saying goodbye to the thrill of feeling my babies move, and knowing there is a new life there.

3. Goodbye to a full-nights sleep (yawn...yawn). Self explanatory, right??

4. This one is definently the hardest goodbye I'm currently struggling with. Goodbye to having a new-newborn. He's still a newborn, but he is changing so fast! Goodbye to those cute little squeaks he makes when he's asleep, to his body that stays curled up in the fetal position, to those involuntary movements of his arms and legs that newborns have, to the distinct newborn cry, having his soft, bald head be small enough that it cradles in my hand. He still has some of these, but he's losing them quickly.

This is Kamden and his newest cousin (5 weeks apart). My baby is huge!

5. This one is my favorite...goodbye to BIG KID diapers! Yes, Jarin is potty trained - even at night! It took one day of the battle of the wills, then he decided that was enough. (bribery helped too ;) ). It has been a week now with very few accidents - WAY TO GO JARE!

6. Goodbye to long summer days, and relaxing summer nights. Goodbye to camping, swimming, sleeping on the trampoline, playing at parks, sprinklers, bike riding, etc. etc. This one too, is bitter-sweet. I love summer; but I love, love, love fall! This has been a harder summer than most because of my health, so we haven't played as much as we usually do. Because of that, this particular summer is more difficult to say goodbye to than most. I feel like summer is just beginning for us!

Ira and the kids sleeping on the trampoline

Jarin with the sprinkler on the trampoline

Jarin loves his hat & boots. I love Jarin and the summer flowers.

Jarin riding his bike

I posted this picture simply because it makes me laugh! Sometimes I say goodbye to my laughs too much, and take life too seriously. This picture is a great reminder to laugh more!

Mommy Kissies and Daddy Huggies

Have you ever wondered what magic is found in a mommies kiss that makes everything better? Today (most days actually), Jarin hurt himself, and as he's crying, he points to where the owie is located. I give it a kiss, and through his tears, he says, "not there...here." I attempt the kiss again, this time it's a bulls eye! The tears then stop, and I ask him if it's all better, and he says, "mmm hmmm", then off he goes to play again. So what is it? is it the simple faith of a child? Is it the FACT :) that mommies know best? Is it that (through a childs eyes) we are able to fix everything? Is there truly some form of magic in mommies, that even the mommies aren't aware of? I'm not sure of the answer to this question, except to say that when I'm hurting really bad, or feeling sick, who is it that I want? My mommy! (How old am I anyways?) Somehow, she seems to make me feel better, and calm my anxieties, and make the owies a little less painful.

Kamden receiving mommy kissies and daddy huggies

Since I'm on the subject...what about daddy hugs? I can put on a brave face to anyone and everyone...except my dad. All he has to do is look at me, or put his arm around me, or simply ask how I'm doing, and instantly I become a melting pot of emotions. Why? What is it about daddy hugs that make us feel safe? Is it because we daughters know that we are his "little girls", and he will make everything better, or at least try? Is it because their sons know they are safe with their daddies, and don't have to prove anything to them (like they do to their peers all day long)? Is it because we feel safe in their great big arms? Is it because "my daddy's bigger, stronger, handsomer, richer", etc. than your daddy (isn't that what we all really think about our dads? - but I just KNOW it's true about my dad, and my childrens dad (except the richer part! :) hee hee) I remember when I was young, and had the flu. My dad sat next to me and ran his great big hands through my hair, and said, "I wish I could be the sick one, and take it away from my little girl." At that time, I wished he could have too! But just knowing that he cared so much made me feel better. Now that I'm all grown up, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm still my daddy's "little girl", and that has a special magic all its own!

My daddy hugs (on our Moab trip)

3 generations of mommy kissies for Jarin (2005)

Me, my Mom, my Grandma & Jarin

Achy Breaky Heart update

I finally talked to my cardiologist this week about my test results. My heart is working great, but it is not getting the message to pump, and it's pumping way too slow. It is working at the speed to need a pacemaker, but he also said that sometimes these things can fix themselves. So he wants me to wait it out for a couple months, then re-test, and see if it has sped up. I am pretty sure I already know the answer that the next test will show, because I have been feeling so much better - thanks to all your prayers!

FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY

All the grandkids (that were able to come).

They are holding their marshmallow shooters that Aunt Kimme made for them. We had a blast with the shooters, and I am still trying to pull dirty, sticky marshmallows off all of our shoes!

Thanks Kim!

The adults that were able to come. I am not pictured because I was home with the baby.

Maybe I'll try to cut and paste myself in (all clean of course!)

Every year since I was a teenager (I wont say how long that's been, it would age me too much! ), my parents family goes on a 4 day camping trip. The first years included around 14 people. This year we had a party of 42 1/2 people (that was with 10 members of our family who couldn't make it - WE MISSED YOU GUYS!, and my sister who's having her baby next week - the reason for the 1/2). Kamden and I went to the mountains during the days, and home at night, (not to sleep - but to "enjoy" each others company - since nighttime is when Kamden likes to play). We eat yummy food, play games, eat more, visit, eat more, hike, eat more, 4-wheel, eat more, stories around the campfire, eat more, try to sleep, and still...we eat more! By the end of the trip, our kids are so dirty that it is hard to tell them apart from the ground. The day we go home, we begin anticipating next years family camp, and reminiscing the fun of this last years. I feel so fortunate to have a family that enjoys being together!

I love you guys!

Jarin with his cousins, Myah & Parker

Had to post this picture because of the insanity of it!!

My sister Kim with her husband Frank, and their "baby" Princess (even the humans aren't as decked out for the 4-wheeler ride as the dog is!) - gotta luv it!

And then there was...ONE. Poor Kelli has to be the last (out of 5 babies this year)

to have her baby. Not much longer (one week) - hang in there Kelli!

Marley, Ryan, Kamden & Kameron

The group who hiked to Bloomington Lake.

Emilie on the rope swing at Bloomington - Way to go Sis!

Me at Bloomington Lake - notice the snow in August in the background.

If truth be told...I did NOT hike to bloomington, I cheated and rode around to the lake on a 4-wheeler. Getting back on my 4-wheeler was just the medicine I needed. It was fantabulous!

Who's Who????

If cloning were permitted, I'd think these three boys of ours had been cloned!

Take your best guess which baby is which????

(answers will follow - but NO cheating!)

ANSWERS: 1. Jarin; 2. Kamden; 3. Brayden

I just showed these pictures to Emilie, and she was all confused. She thought I had brought three different outfits to the studio with us (for Kamden), yet she couldn't remember when I had changed him during the sitting.

I don't want Emi to feel left out of the baby picture thing (even if she's not quite a clone).

She was a huge 4lbs. 10 oz. This new born outfit drowns her!

My older children don't like me to say this, but ...they will always be my "babies". I can't imagine my life without them. They each have their own qualities that I love. Thank you Brayden, Emilie, Jarin & Kamden, for letting me be your mom!

"DON'T TELL MY HEART...MY ACHY BREAKY HEART!"

I thought I would post an update with my most recent tests results. I had an echo cardiogram this week, and it was all good news. Some of our worst fears of possible diagnosis' were put to rest after the echo. The structure of my heart is working great - so the problem isn't with my heart itself, but in some default of the message getting to my heart. So of all the possible things that it could be, the worse of them are checked off as cleared. At the best, it could be just a crazy thing that happened as a result of the stress and changes of pregnancy. That is what we are hoping for - but time will tell. For now, we just monitor my pulse and see if it will average out, instead of the extreme lows and highs. If not...then we will go for further testing. In the meantime, I do feel like I am gaining my strength a little each day, which is fabulous!

Thank you to all of you for your thoughts, service, and prayers on my behalf. At first I was really struggling with the "attention", but now I realize that perhaps the results may have been different without your prayers. My "heartfelt" :) thanks to each of you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAR-BEAR

The Big 3 (notice all the holes in the cake - Brayden & Emilie put at least 20 candles in the cake, before I reminded them that he's only 3!)
Mr. Hulk!

Goodnight Birthday Boy (our family has a birthday pillow case that the person of honor gets to use for a whole week!)

Jarins 3rd birthday came at perfect timing for him. After all the fuss over Kamden, and then his mom not feeling great, he has really been pushed aside. So, to have a day that was special just for him right now was wonderful. We actually celebrated it a day early, because that is when we were all able to spend the most time with him (if no one tells him - he'll never know!). We went to Mack Park with Grandma & Grandpa, and some of his cousins. We had lunch and a party. He was so excited, and was all smiles!

Some of the things that I adore about Jarin are:

his laugh

his smile that lights up his whole face

his beautiful blue eyes

he has a great sense of humor, and always follows up with saying, "I'm just kidding"

When he sees something that looks like an adventure, his face lights up, and he exclaims, "That can be fun!"

The way he says his brother and sisters names "Bay-en", and "Em-a-lay"

his willingness to want to do the right thing

his sweet hugs & kissies

the list could go on forever, but for fear of sounding like a bragging mom, I'll stop here.

BEAR LAKE

For our July 24th celebration (Utah holiday), we spent a few hours at Bear Lake. It is one of our favorite places to go in the summer. Everyone had a great time playing, and Kamden and I hung out in the shade of the umbrella - exerting NO energy!

Our sandwich is bigger than our baby!

Good thing for this life jacket that has the part behind his head, and flips him over to his back. It saved Jarins life several times!
Brayden & Emilie
Kamden - 2 weeks old

4 GENERATIONS


Great Grandma Elizabeth Smith, Grandma Margaret, Dad Ira, and Kamden

Ira's family came for a brief visit to see their new grandson.