Happy

The other day Kamden and I were riding in the car, he was full of his million and one questions.  Then the conversation turned to this:

Kam: "I'm so happy."

Mom:  "What makes you happy?"

Kam:  "You do."

Mom:  *happy sigh*

Being a mom is one of the hardest experiences E.V.E.R!  Many days it is hard to find something positive and rewarding in being a mother.  I look around me and see an unkept home, a dinner that no one liked left out from the night before, dirty laundry that stinks, children that argue with each other and with me, never-ending piles of  bills and school papers to sign, children who play video games way too much, and the list could go on and on.  Oh, and one more biggy that I must list - a TEENAGER and one almost teenager (need I say more?).

So ya...some days it is very difficult to find the positive in my chosen profession :).  But ya know what?...most of those days that I can't find the positive, are the days that I am looking for some big grand rainbow with it's pot of gold to be right in my front yard.  Have you ever gone "chasing the rainbow" with your kids?  I have...and when we think we're almost there, the rainbow just keeps getting further away and it's unreachable.

I think I often chase that unreachable rainbow in motherhood, instead of just enjoying it from where I am.  Every single day there are countless (ok, maybe not countless, but usually more than one a day :) ) little things that my children do and say that make up that rainbow with it's pot of gold right in my own home.  A hug, a kiss, a laugh, a moment or two (if I'm lucky :) ) of them getting along, a single word spoken with respect, an "I love you", a chore being done without being asked, or a sweet comment of "I'm so happy".

coincidentally, speaking of rainbows, I made these rainbow treats for my kids for St. Patricks (that was a first - I've NEVER done anything for St. Patricks)

Feelin' the Love...

These pictures are a whole bunch of randomness. But when I look at these pictures, I am reminded of how much love there is to go around, and how much fun the journey of life is when we have good friends and great family to share it with.

I loved this sweet moment with

my two boys...

And this one...

And even this one. Until...

they dumped all the shampoo and all the conditioner to make a great slippery bathtub that they could spin around in.

After this picture was taken, they put more water in the tub (again), and I left the room to put my camera away. When I went back in, they had put a couple inches of the water and bubbles on the bathroom floor and were sliding all over the floor. *should I laugh or cry?*

Daddy built a snowman with the boys. Not sure what they named him. But if I were to guess, his name was "Frosty". :)

I have this group of friends that we re-live our childhoods together. We started out a couple of years ago with a common interest in hiking. But when it's too cold to hike - we find other ways to "play".

The next pictures are of us "ice blocking" on Old Main Hill on Utah State Campus. The object of the activity??? Sit on a freezing block of ice (aka...freeze our keesters) and slide down the hill and try not to get hurt or killed on the way.

Same group of friends has started a tradition where we go to our friends cabin at Bear Lake sometime in the winter. When we got there, we couldn't get the heat to work, and realized the propane tank was empty. So we used whatever we could to keep warm until our "Mr. Heater" arrived (it's our emergency heater that we keep in our trailer - it worked great).

It was Mel's birthday, so we did a "Mob Dance" for her.

I also had the opportunity to go to "Time Out For Women" with a group of friends. Some of these friends I had never met before this day, others I have loved for a long time. I can't say enough about how wonderful this experience was. I left there remembering that I am a Daughter of God. I definently want to make this one a tradition.

Emilie and I had a girl date with a little shopping and the theatre. We went to the local production of "The Slipper and the Rose" (it's the Cinderella story). It's so fun to get to have our "girl time".

Brayden and Ira had a different way of "showing their love". They decided to see if they could complete the pizza challenge.

I think I can...I think I can...I think I can.

My cheerleading didn't work. This is as far as they got. But their memories of their "boy time" will stay with them forever.

I don't usually do anything very special for Valentines gifts. I do follow my moms tradition that she always did for my dad - and that is to make him his own cheesecake. In addition to the cheesecake, this year I decided to "go all out".

When you aren't used to getting a gift, then even a little something is going all out! :)

Basket full of various nuts for Ira, and candy for the kiddos.

At school, they celebrate each childs birthday, and since Jarins birthday is in the middle of the summer - they celebrated his "half birthday". Cute idea, but caused stress when he got home and realized that we weren't ALL celebrating his half birthday...complete with gifts and cake.

So Emilie and I decided "why not". So we found some of their toys in their room and wrapped them up. Then we made a cake and had a "half birthday" for Jarin and Kamden (both birthdays are in July).

So instead of one day in February being the day of "love" - I prefer to show our love all year long...in the little things we do.

Are we almost there?

Kamden is always very concerned with time. He always wants to know what time it is. He wants to know if it is almost dark or half way dark. He wants to know if we are almost there, or half way there. One day I was holding him on my lap, and we were just chatting when he asked me, "Mommy, are we there yet?" I was a bit baffled because I didn't know we were going anywhere. So I asked him "Are we almost where?" His reply surprised me when he said, "Are we almost to heaven?" I have to admit that I didn't like the question because I have always felt that our children are so close to heaven that they have more spiritual insight than we adults have. They just left there such a short time ago. So I have wondered why he would ask such a question. He has since asked me this same question about once a day. And every time he asks, I get a bit of a nervous feeling.

As I thought about how to answer my little boy, with his trusting eyes looking into mine - I said something to the effect of "Not yet - but someday we will be there if we make good choices". So then he asked if we are half way there yet :).

Since that first time that he asked me this question, I have pondered his question and how to answer him. I hope that my physical self, and especially my childrens physical selves are a long way from being in heaven. But I want to think that my spiritual self is almost there...or at least half way there. And have I taught my children enough that they are "almost there" or "half way there"? I'm not sure about the answers to any of the questions that Kamden has asked or to the questions that I have pondered since then. But I do know that Heavenly Father knows the answers, and that He has asked us to have faith in Him.

So whether we are almost there or half way there, I don't know - But I do know that I feel a little more determined to make sure that Heaven is our final destination on this journey we call life, and that we don't just make it "half way there".